It took Nadya Suleman 14 kids to realize she may have gone overboard. Octomom confession: Whoops!

Nadya Suleman admits that looking back on her decision to have a million babies was wrong and she has a “tremendous amount of guilt” because of it. She also says being known as “Octomom” makes her feel like a carnival attraction.

Appearing on Oprah Winfrey Show, Nadya said she had so many children out of her own childish desires to compensate and admits she was trying to fill some missing piece inside, reports Us Weekly.

“Looking back, I’ve always coveted that connection, that attachment to another being. And the connection felt safer with children than with a significant other, more predictable,” said Octomom. “The security – I was hungering for the security.”

She was “hungering” for security and she figured having 14 kids while being unemployed was a good idea? This woman has some serious issues. But wait, it gets better! Now that their food stamps have run out, Octomom told Oprah they depend on media appearances for money.

“We’re surviving,” she said. “We’re so busy going, going, going, moving, moving, moving, trying to keep up that you don’t have time to think, to reflect, to feel anything. And it is a choice. I own all of the responsibility for my poor choices in the past.