Gok Wan: I was ready to die of anorexia

Gok Wan has stated that he felt so low during his anorexia battle that he “didn’t care if [he] died”. At the age of 20, the How To Look Good Naked star dropped down from 21 stone to just 11 stone within the space of seven months.

“Any negative word, feeling, experience you can imagine, put it all into a horse-bag, shake it and swallow the lot – that’s how you feel when you have your darkest moment with anorexia,” he told the Daily Mail. “I didn’t care if I died.”

Although he was eventually able to conquer his weight issues, Wan feared that part of his character had been shed along with the pounds – so he threw himself into work as a distraction.

“When I was fat my personality was the only thing I was proud of, the only thing I thought I had any control of,” he said. “Maybe I’m still grieving the death of my fat former self.

“I was work, work work. That became everything… [But] I have to work a bit more on the other stuff. I don’t want to be on my deathbed with just a really nice bank account.”

Wan previously opened up to Digital Spy about his weight battle, saying: “I think I’ll always have some form of body dysmorphia and I think I’ll always have some form of eating disorder because it’s a huge part of who I am now. But I’ve never been in a healthier and happier place with my body than I am now.”

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