Iina Koppinen: How to get motivation back?

OHMYGOSSIP – Stress in my mind is not creative.  To overcome it in all circumstances is to start doing my work anyway, because just postponing everything.. (like I did these past two weeks), the result was the stress just got worse.  I think one of the biggest issues to me is how to be calm when I fail in something. I was telling in the beginning of the September – that I’ll start my new working rhythm, and was so happy about it.  I didn’t manage as I planned, not at all!  

So, what did I do instead?  I did everything which is not related to my own work at all.  If I watched some history documents, those weren’t even close to my own area of work, not related in the history of art.  I felt horrified every day – where disappeared the time which I was supposed to work.

photo Iina Koppinen | three chairs | 2018

I didn’t do my morning doodles, the drawing exercise I usually do every morning, before going to my studio and start working.  So I  let myself slip out from direction and all the time it made me feel worse and worse.  I was just doing something else, like meticulously cleaning my studio and wasn’t happy with the previous wallpapers on the wall, so I purchased new ones, and put them to studio walls.

I felt this pressure in my own planned schedule.  I was hoping this would bring me what I was looking after – I wanted to make my life happy and wanted to do my work and have time to do something else too. I realized  having anxiety created by the fact nothing was completed in  time I was planned ,and it was my own fault.  In the end it came in to my dreams too.. and good sleeping is essential to me!  And of course I was more and more disappointed in myself.

My schedule and plans would have been brilliant, but now I think I was already too tired to keep going with new things.  So this had been coming.  I totally forgot what I know about how to escape from this kind of non- creative situation.

I have usually long periods when I feel everything is going smoothly, and I’m good shape.  I am so happy for all I have done.  My favorite time is when creative process takes its place and I wish it would last forever.  But it never does.  You have to do efforts for working, seriously.

There are times I don’t know, what and how to do, and uncertainty is creating fears easily.  The inner critic begins to step up more, and then I easily think anything I do is not decent enough.  And then I’ll be thinking, who and what I am?

Routines may sometimes look boring.  Even the routines I was so excited.. made me feel uncomfortable.  I was thinking all the time things have to change, but I didn’t know how to get into really evolving idea!  And it was pretty painful.

But the idea is working, not only think working.  Nothing wasn’t working, because I wasn’t working.

photo and sketch Iina Koppinen | draw me | 2018

The only way is continue practicing – to draw those kitch– type of drawings, and focus on the little moments when making these make me feel good.  That’s really important.  It is time to think of the process and techniques and not the product that you would and you should do.  Those different sketches, drafts allow ideas to grow bigger and make it clear in my mind.

Remembering this and let myself to do that I finally get back into the flow doing something I know is good enough according to my own standards.  Doing something I know, to end up in some exhibitions, or even someone else’s wall.

Have a nice day, sweeties!

xx

Iina

 

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