Louise Thompson worries she won’t be ‘strong enough’ to throw son 1st birthday party

OHMYGOSSIP — Louise Thompson is “haunted” by the fear she will not be “strong enough” to throw her son a first birthday party in November.
The ‘Made in Chelsea’ star has been suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) since the traumatic birth of her and her fiance Ryan Libbey’s son Leo in November, and Louise has opened up about being concerned she will be “all over the place” as her boy grows up, and worries that might have an effect on his development.
She wrote on Instagram: “I had a reflexology session the other day (which pretty much doubled up as a therapy session) and we ended up discussing recovery. No surprises there. We agreed that it doesn’t matter what your circumstances are: whether you’re grieving a loss, going through a divorce, physically suffering, dealing with ptsd, dissociation or other mental health conditions, whatever it is… one thing that can make recovery 10x harder is having young children. I absolutely hate to admit it but it’s true. If you’ve been through it, i’m sure you can relate. Having someone (or multiple little people) that 100% depend on you whilst going through a tumultuous time is tough squared. Especially if they’re not at school yet. You have to plaster together that strong facade, sticking to their routine religiously whilst placing one foot in front of the other, reciting ‘this two shall pass’ and PARK your own needs and recovery firmly till the end of the day when you’ve put your little ones to bed and hopefully they’ve drifted off into a DEEP peaceful slumber (the longer the better)… then, and only then, can you unpack everything that is going on in your head. All your emotions are free to spill out into a big fat mess or you can just sit and be still with whatever crap you’re dealing with and try to process it, free from the guilt that you might affect their sponge like brains. As you guys already know one of my biggest recurring fears during this whole process is that I’m going to be all over the place as Leo grows up and that it’s going to have an adverse effect on his development so I try to hide as much as possible during daytime! It honestly haunts me ALL THE TIME. That, and the idea that I won’t be strong enough to throw him a birthday party come November. (sic)”
Louise – who spent five weeks in intensive care after giving birth to Leo – doubts she will ever drink again because she has an “on/off fear” of consuming something that might have an effect on her medication, colitis or her recovery.
She added: “I want more than anything for him to feel loved, nurtured, supported and for him to have fun with his parents. I want stability for him. Not for me to be having constant on off weird moments. I often struggle to explain it to myself or my partner, so I don’t really want to have to explain the complexities of my brain to a poor innocent child. The whole thing also feels quite contradictory because they are the reason that you keep going but also maybe the reason that things take so much longer to process and get better?! I’ve managed to process things quite quickly in the past with talking therapy etc. but this feels so different and SO SLOW. I’ve never suffered with anything like it. My lovely reflexology lady joked how ‘gone are the days’ of getting over things by sleeping in until midday and going out on benders with girlfriends. She was so right. I mean that wouldn’t work for me now anyway with my total fear of lying in bed surrounded by ruminating thoughts and my on off fear of consuming things that might affect my medication, my colitis or my recovery! I don’t think I’ll ever drink again tbh. It’s been nearly two years and I’m WAY too scared.
Talking of having time to yourself in the evening… I’m guessing that us having a really tight routine in the evening might be one of the reasons that I always feel better around 5pm? Something shifts in my brain. The damaged programs in the computer slot back into place. Anyone else experienced this? Maybe it’s because that is my ‘recovery time’. It’s not even a conscious decision but my body is somehow signalling to my brain that I can live without total irrational fear. It’s saying YES. (sic)”
In February, the star revealed she was experiencing depression, severe anxiety, avoidance and PTSD following Leo’s birth.

Source: VacationHunter.Online